http://elfyourself.jibjab.com/view/kR3Gqg2TtYNcXyOIjdHi

^^^
PLEASE WATCH THAT. AND THIS ONE,

http://elfyourself.jibjab.com/view/54mVcrtqhl5QZoJ6dGTy

You Know You're An Exhausted College Student When...

You drink a venti coffee labeled with the wrong name and fall asleep ten minutes later for the next four hours.

I often get Darrel, so I guess Tara is an improvement. Am I really that hard to understand???

This is a book I saw at the bookstore. This guy also wrote a book called, "I hope they serve beer in hell". I feel like I've dated this piaso for some reason! Maybe if we combine the two titles, "Assholes finish in Hell"?? That sounds a little better to me :p

U of A

U of A is so amazing. I love it. I have made more amazing friends than I can even describe, done more fun things than I ever thought, and have not yet felt stupid for saying where I go to school (like I did when I said Pima and ASU)

So that is my latest project. It is a book cover I designed for this short story called Doofus. Such a cute story about a little boy who couldn't figure out how to tie his dang shoes lol. 

LOVE IT.

Oh Sass.

Okay, this week has been interesting to say the least. I did manage to do one thing that didn't turn into a mini disaster. I perfected the art of cooking top ramen noodles in a microwave. It might not sound like a big deal but you can only eat so much fast food, cereal, and soup so I am totally excited. So most eventful thing  took place on Friday night. It's embarrassing, it's dumb, and I swear my hair isn't blonde. So Thursday night I set my alarm for 10 so I could wake up and go to work at 1 the next day. However, I did not wake up until noon because apparently I set my alarm for 10pm. So I throw my hair up, put on some mascara and burst out the door. All I grab is my keys and my phone. I get to work and it's absolute chaos, a rare thing for our little Ace so everyone was already frazzled. It was just one of those days. Everyone wanted to pay in change, argue, return random things, it was just a yuck day at Ace. So this guy comes in. He's old, he's grumpy, he's annoying. I literally cannot stand this guy and he comes in ALL THE TIME. Every time he checks out, there's a problem. He's the closest I have ever come to crying at Ace. You'd think I got all my tears out at the Ritz??? I mean once every shift was quite a bit! Anyways. So every time this guy comes in the workers literally like run away from him, he's so mean. So he buys a shovel. And the shovel has a label on it with the brand, the price, blah blah blah, totally normal right? So he pays for the shovel and starts hollering at me about the sticker on it! He's asking me why we put it there and I'm trying to explain its the shovel company and I didn't do it and it goes on and on and on. So basically, my manager stepped in and told him to leave, it was that bad. Some other lady hollered at me for a good twenty minutes as I tried to explain to her that her flashlight was from Home Depot and she couldn't return it here. The truck driver with hundreds of live Christmas trees didn't have a GPS, mapquest, or any common sense whatsoever so I had been giving him directions all day. A stupid little kid decided to laser point me in the eye, his parents thought it was hilarioussss! It was just a weird weird weird day! So this other regular customer comes in, he's really nice though. But he is missing a hand and he has this like pinching claw thing. It's strange. So I ring him up and he's gathering up all his stuff and he looks up at me and says, "I don't have enough hands." Like totally serious. I didn't know if I should laugh or be like "Well, no you only have one dude!" I didn't know what to say but it was really funny. So eventually the idiot truck driver makes it with all of our Christmas trees. He's doesn't get here until 6 though, an hour before we close. Basically we all stayed till almost 10pm unloading, chopping, labeling, fluffing, and smelling these gorgeous Christmas trees! Now, it's time to get take my sap covered self back home. Cue blonde moment. So I go inside and I'm gonna meet some friends for this secret santa exchange thing we are all doing. So I run in the door and run to go pee. So I'm getting all my stuff together, changing my sap covered jeans, and I'm ready to go meet my friends. Where is my phone? Think of the most awful place it could possibly be. Yep. It's in the toilet.

Okay. So my phone has been drained, blow dried, and it is currently sitting in a bowl of rice. Apparently rice soaks up all the water and I am not the only person who has made this dumb mistake because like 10 of my friends were like 'oh just put it in rice!" So after work on Saturday this is what went down.

I get in my little white car and drive to Mom and Dad's house and say hi to lonely G-dog and look through the box of random, assorted electronics and try and find a phone that sucks the least. I settle on one circa 2001. And then I realize how spoiled I am. So I get back into my little white car and drive down to verizon with this blue flip phone that doesn't even have a camera! Yes I know how snotty that sounds but I am so used to the phone I have, it has my email, my calendar, over 200 phone numbers (which are currently lost in space) and the only form of an alarm clock I have! So I bring this phone in  and the pieces of my old one and have to explain this embarrassing story to my Verizon guy. However, I decided to substitute hot tub for toilet. So I get the phone all situated and get back into my little white car and drive to Walmart where I debit a $1.34 bag of rice. I drive back to my parents house, make some mac cheese, and fill a big bowl of rice and stick the pieces of my phone in it. So I eat and then I get back into the car for the millionth time and drive back to my dorm with a big bowl of rice/cell phone in my lap. Random? I think yes.

Looking Back

Okay, so last night I got bored with writing my paper and was looking through some of my old pictures. Can I just say, I literally have 14,741 photos on my computer. AND one day all you picture-taking haters will thank me :] So anyways, I was looking through some pictures of my time spent in New York and here's some thoughts I came up with.

Ashton was and is an adorable child. He looks so different now!

Aiden is indeed adorable also. There are literally like six boys that I trust. Two are under the age of four. The rest own guns and are related to me.

Dressing up as a nerd was a little easier than I remember...

I rest my case. 

I miss the family A a whole lot. Here are some pictures of the boys that always make me laugh lol

Aiden is straight up gangsta in that one!

I just love the random-ness of this picture.

I can't even believe how much has changed in the last year or so.

Most of my calamities have healed...

I have finally chosen the correct school and workplace...

Some people and things are no longer in my life...

But new things have come along...

And the things that really matter have been here all along...

I feel like I have changed so much... 

(Thank God my hair is longer by the way. Bad choice. Lesson learned.)

I'm still the same girl deep down though...

I still love my shoes

I'm still a messy cook

And I most certainly still love football

Okay, one last thing. Can I just say that my potato rolls did not completely suck this year?! In fact, they were pretty freakin' delicious :]

Ace Translations

Things I often hear from my customers and what they really mean:

They say: "Oh, I think have the thirteen cents."
They mean: "I'm gonna hold up the line while I dig around in my purse for some change and toss it at you when I think I found it."

I say: "Can I help you find anything?"
Man says: "Oh no. I'll ask one of the guys."
He means: "You must be retarded and not know one single thing about tools or where stuff is in this store. P.S. I am sexist."

Can I just say I know where mostly everything is in the store??? And I'm pretty good with tools. I picked out a grommet kit for this guy yesterday. Name another girl who could do that. And please for the love of pete, when you pay a cashier with change and she is holding her hand out PUT IT IN HER HAND!
Also:

1. Don't pay with wet money. Gross.
2. If you pay me 30 dollars in ones, I may question your profession.
3. Do not hand me your 'coin purse' and say "I'll let you count it."
4. Do you not throw/toss your credit card at me.
5. Do not say "Oh, I have the change!" after I have already counted out your change.
6. Please be aware if you tell me goofy stories about your personal life, they may appear on the internet.

One such goofy story,
An old man comes in the other day and asks if we have any underwater lights he can install in his pond. Why, you might ask. To keep his wife from falling in!! No joke.

Questions...

I should never have to ask myself, but I do...

1. Must the happy meal that has been strewn about the stairs be power washed at 8 o clock in the morning?

2. Did you honestly think "Prop 203" was a good answer when the cops asked you why you smoked weed in the bathroom?

3. Does popcorn and diet coke qualify as dinner?

4. Does that girl seriously think her shirt is meant to be worn as a dress?

5. Why did creepy repairman think it was a good idea to change my air filter in my room while I was in the shower?

6. Does my father want to kill said creepy repairman now?

It has been an interesting week. One rather entertaining story. A friend of a friend of a friend asked me to go to dinner with him. He said it was my choice. So I suggested somewhere on University. He says, "Oh, I was thinking Burger King." He was serious. Needless to say, I give up.

THANK GOD ITS ALMOST THANKSGIVING!

Dear Family,

Thank you everyone for the birthday love :] Terri, it was amazing to see you! I hope we can meet up in New York City! And Amy, I can't wait to see you again, it has been way too long! Mama and Dad, you guys know me better than anyone in the world, thank you for the amazing shopping trip and all the millions of other presents you have given to me all my life (you know the big ones like housing/school/food lol) Much appreciated! Grandma, you are the best ever I love you very much. Aunt Pam, Uncle Bill, Judd and Freckles, thank you so much :] Aunt Shelly and Uncle Jerry thank you too! And thankyou my second family the Ryan's! I think I've covered everyone except for my dearest brother and his little fam.

Let me just say, this gift was genius and I am going to explain why.

Above is a picture of my "sketchbook" I have been using this year. Also known as twenty pieces of computer paper stapled together.

This beautiful hard cover book complete with artist's pencils is my new sketchbook! Much less ghetto.

Some other random things I ordered. The brush, to dust off eraser crumbs without smearing your masterpeices! The little tub is the greatest glue in the world. The brayer (the rolly thing) is God's gift to gluers. And the white paper underneath is the most amazing paper an artist could ask for. 

All these glorious, nerdy art supplies came in these two boxes (two day air rush delivery!) So amazing. I love love love love love it! I'm using all of it for a self portrait collage due on Thursday. (A collage of stamps, plane tickets, envelops etc. to symbolize my moving around all the over the place!) So if anyone has any plane ticket stubs, train tickets, you name it send them to me pleaseeeee!!!

So what else is new? I bought a gorgeous amaryllis flower at my second home, Ace. I already put up Christmas lights in my room. I am one of Kaila's bridesmaids, and I'm wearing cowgirl boots to a football game tonight lol. 

So that's a picture of part of my tiny room with the Christmas lights. Let me just explain that gross poster. I bought it for 4 dollars to prove a point to my stupid ex boyfriend that he should not have gross posters of disgusting women in his room! I won the argument and the poster pissed him off so much I decided to keep it up. However, a poster of NYC is on its way to take its place. So no one think less of me for having that, it really was not something I saw and said OH perfect I'll put that on the stone block wall in my dorm room. 

Mama, I am showing you this heap of laundry to prove to you I do not always look like this:

Alright, I got some random Ace stories on the brain so please enjoy! So as many people know, Ace caters to a certain uhh age group. And its like everyone above 60. I mean we literally have an entire aisle devoted to the strict home owner's association rules in Sun City (Aisle 15). I mean the UPC for sun city address lights is D603015. And I only know that because I ring them up a billion times a day! Okay, so the other day I'm cashiering and this is what happens:

Me: Hello sir, did you find everything okay?

Sir: (Attempts to lift bag of potting soil onto the counter) I'm getting too old for this.

Me: (Rings up soil)

Sir: So, if I get your number can I call you sometime?

Me: (Speechless)

If you are too old to lift a 5 pound bag of potting soil, you are certainly too old to ask for my phone number.

So other than the sun city aisle, the other aisle that gets the most action: plumbing. I honestly can't even count how many times people bring in old plungers, flappers, etc. and ask me to throw them away for them. I don't care if I sound like a beezy, I say no. That's so gross. One time this guy came up to the counter, shoved the plunger down so hard it stuck. In one fluid motion he whips out a knife, pries it off the counter, and leaves without saying a word. Awkward! And one time, this lady RUNS in the door and yells "I NEED A PLUNGER RIGHT NOW!" I mean how embarrassing. A lot of times people tell me things I don't need to hear. Like the one lady who told me about how food got stuck in her throat so she reached her fingers down there and pulled it out and had to go to the hospital because she scratched her throat! I almost barfed for that one. She told me the story complete with hand motions, noises, the whole nine yards. One of my personal favorites is the guy who burst through the doors right before we were about to close exclaiming he needed drywall tape because his wife ripped the stripper pole out of their ceiling. It's really amazing what people will tell you lol. So bag sale day was last Saturday, anything that you could cram into a brown paper bag was 20% off. 

Customer: Does a rake fit in the bag?

Me: No...

Customer: Well, are you sure? Why not?

Me: (Holds up average sized brown bag) Well, this is the bag.

Anddd cue customer freak out/storm out the door. 

I really do love my job so much. I work with the best people ever. For example, yesterday my boss ordered pizza but since I was at the front I didn't get any. Did he order an entire pizza just for me later that night? Yes. How seriously awesome is that? Did all my male coworkers threaten to kill my ex boyfriend? Yes. Did 30,000 other people? Yes. 

Okay, that's for now :]

Stuff!

Here I sit watching the tv guide channel (one of the few channels I get) because I just can't take anymore Kate Plus Eight Minus John = Mid life crisis for Kate. I just got back from the library after laboring over my first actual design project. We could only use two colors and had to copy a passage/definition of a word from a design book. We had to have an image, a texture, and a line drawing in each layout. Three layouts, one text dominant, one negative space dominant, and one image dominant. I chose the word 'beauty'. Check them out!

text dominant

negative space dominant

image dominant

So basically that's my first real design project all done on the computer and I will for sure be putting it in my portfolio. 

So in other random news, here's what's going on in dorm life. Okay, check out this email my RA sent.

2. I have been receiving a ton of noise complaints. Please be respectful of the fact that we are all living in very close quarters. I realize we all have our own rooms but all of the vents are connected so please be conscious of how loud your music is, leaving your alarms buzzing, and just general noise.  As a reminder, if you leave your alarm on and go to class or are not around and it is going off Residence Life Staff can key into your room to turn it off. If we have to do this you can be documented. Please be respectful of that fact that those around you can hear it.

 

3. Walk appropriately through the hallways. I know that it may not seem like the balcony area is actually a hallway because it is outside. However, it is. When you run or even just walk loudly down the hallway it makes a very loud noise because of the concrete. If you are caught running through the halls you will be documented for hall sports.  I have never had to do this in the past and I have lived in this dorm for three years. The noise is just out of control. So please be conscious of your actions.

 

4. Pick up your trash.  I have personally found, and had reports of people leaving their trash in the corridors.  Everything from fast food bags to tubs of ice cream. Clean up after yourselves. It is nobody's job to clean up after you.

Okay, so the tub of ice cream that was left out was left outside me and my suite mate's door for three weeks (not by either of us). The alarm clock is our neighbor affectionately known as Sketch. It goes off at 6:30am EVERY MORNING and he leaves it on. ALL DAY LONG. I can hear it in my room and my suite mate is right next to him so she wakes up with him and his dumb alarm every day. I cannot wait to live in the apartment next year it's going to be so amazing!! Okay, so for everyone who thought I was exaggerating about the soup business, check these burns out!!!

Yeah, that's from SOUP for crying out loud!

Now, check out Arizona's rockin sunset.

Okay so me and my suite mate are often complaining about the lack of group activities going on. So today I got a note on my door for just that. 

Well, they tried I guess. Needless to say I don't think I will be attending the let's watch a movie about gay guys for two hours. Oh and the Sara needs a manicure ASAP fund is currently accepting all donations!