Oh Sass.

Okay, this week has been interesting to say the least. I did manage to do one thing that didn't turn into a mini disaster. I perfected the art of cooking top ramen noodles in a microwave. It might not sound like a big deal but you can only eat so much fast food, cereal, and soup so I am totally excited. So most eventful thing  took place on Friday night. It's embarrassing, it's dumb, and I swear my hair isn't blonde. So Thursday night I set my alarm for 10 so I could wake up and go to work at 1 the next day. However, I did not wake up until noon because apparently I set my alarm for 10pm. So I throw my hair up, put on some mascara and burst out the door. All I grab is my keys and my phone. I get to work and it's absolute chaos, a rare thing for our little Ace so everyone was already frazzled. It was just one of those days. Everyone wanted to pay in change, argue, return random things, it was just a yuck day at Ace. So this guy comes in. He's old, he's grumpy, he's annoying. I literally cannot stand this guy and he comes in ALL THE TIME. Every time he checks out, there's a problem. He's the closest I have ever come to crying at Ace. You'd think I got all my tears out at the Ritz??? I mean once every shift was quite a bit! Anyways. So every time this guy comes in the workers literally like run away from him, he's so mean. So he buys a shovel. And the shovel has a label on it with the brand, the price, blah blah blah, totally normal right? So he pays for the shovel and starts hollering at me about the sticker on it! He's asking me why we put it there and I'm trying to explain its the shovel company and I didn't do it and it goes on and on and on. So basically, my manager stepped in and told him to leave, it was that bad. Some other lady hollered at me for a good twenty minutes as I tried to explain to her that her flashlight was from Home Depot and she couldn't return it here. The truck driver with hundreds of live Christmas trees didn't have a GPS, mapquest, or any common sense whatsoever so I had been giving him directions all day. A stupid little kid decided to laser point me in the eye, his parents thought it was hilarioussss! It was just a weird weird weird day! So this other regular customer comes in, he's really nice though. But he is missing a hand and he has this like pinching claw thing. It's strange. So I ring him up and he's gathering up all his stuff and he looks up at me and says, "I don't have enough hands." Like totally serious. I didn't know if I should laugh or be like "Well, no you only have one dude!" I didn't know what to say but it was really funny. So eventually the idiot truck driver makes it with all of our Christmas trees. He's doesn't get here until 6 though, an hour before we close. Basically we all stayed till almost 10pm unloading, chopping, labeling, fluffing, and smelling these gorgeous Christmas trees! Now, it's time to get take my sap covered self back home. Cue blonde moment. So I go inside and I'm gonna meet some friends for this secret santa exchange thing we are all doing. So I run in the door and run to go pee. So I'm getting all my stuff together, changing my sap covered jeans, and I'm ready to go meet my friends. Where is my phone? Think of the most awful place it could possibly be. Yep. It's in the toilet.

Okay. So my phone has been drained, blow dried, and it is currently sitting in a bowl of rice. Apparently rice soaks up all the water and I am not the only person who has made this dumb mistake because like 10 of my friends were like 'oh just put it in rice!" So after work on Saturday this is what went down.

I get in my little white car and drive to Mom and Dad's house and say hi to lonely G-dog and look through the box of random, assorted electronics and try and find a phone that sucks the least. I settle on one circa 2001. And then I realize how spoiled I am. So I get back into my little white car and drive down to verizon with this blue flip phone that doesn't even have a camera! Yes I know how snotty that sounds but I am so used to the phone I have, it has my email, my calendar, over 200 phone numbers (which are currently lost in space) and the only form of an alarm clock I have! So I bring this phone in  and the pieces of my old one and have to explain this embarrassing story to my Verizon guy. However, I decided to substitute hot tub for toilet. So I get the phone all situated and get back into my little white car and drive to Walmart where I debit a $1.34 bag of rice. I drive back to my parents house, make some mac cheese, and fill a big bowl of rice and stick the pieces of my phone in it. So I eat and then I get back into the car for the millionth time and drive back to my dorm with a big bowl of rice/cell phone in my lap. Random? I think yes.