Sass and Stairs.

As Andy, Aubrey, and their cursed basement stairs know... Sass and stairs just do not get along. Last Tuesday, I am rushing to class because I decided to get 10 minutes of extra sleep (surprise, surprise!) Let me just say thank god I made it down both flights of cement stairs at my dorm safely lol, but the steps leading up to my Italian class were a totally different story. So please picture this. I've got glasses on and a top knot (that lump of hair I plop on top of my head when I don't feel like doing any actual styling) and I'm walking as fast as I can up the stairs. If my life had an announcer here's how it would have gone down:

She races in the door! She mounts the first step! Up, up, UP UP UP. And it looks like a possible misstep... OH NO NO NO. Her knee is down! Maybe she can pull herself back up! OTHER KNEE IS DOWN! NO NO NO! BOTH HANDS ARE THE ON THE GROUND! AND THE BACKPACK SWINGS TO HER SIDE! SHE'S DOWN SHE'S DOWN! FULL ON FACE PLANT IN THE CEZAR CHAVEZ BUILDING!!!!!

Yes. This is not an exaggeration. I full on fell over, on stairs, in public, at a university. Like landed on the ground fell over, not just a trip. Well, thank God only one person was there to witness my guinea pig squeal as I went down. However, the oneee person who saw this was a complete jerk! This is what he does. He hears my clunk on the ground, turns over his shoulder, LAUGHS AND WALKS AWAY!
WHOA buddy! Didn't your mama teach you some manners? Oh I guess not, just like every other man on the face of this planet! Why I was surprised by this guy's reaction I will never know. Okay, so this is like several clumsy accidents within the passed week and a half or so, so I figured I was done. Nope.

Yesterday, I was diligently doing laundry, homework, and some cleaning so first of all I don't think I deserved what was about to happen to me lol. So I decide I'm hungry and wanna take a break. In an effort to save money I decide to microwave some soup. (It was made for the microwave, this is not 'an idiot puts metal into a microwave story' lol) So I take the soup out and open the lid. The next few minutes consist of an explosion of Campbell's chicken tortilla, me frantically running to find Tide Stain Release, and shoving my shins under cold water. Can I just ask who on earth burns their shins while microwaving soup? So, before this whole calamity occurred my refrigerator broke. Shocking, I know, it's not like my disgusting brown fridge has been in use since the stone age or anything. So, the only thing cold enough to hold on my shins was half a bottle of expired ranch. So for the rest of the day I closed the curtains in my room because I really didn't wanna have to explain to anyone why a bottle of ranch was duct taped to my shin while I sat on the floor painting with water colors. Can anyone else picture that scene in a mental institution???? "Now, Sara, that is a lovely water color! But remember, we don't tape condiments to our bodies!"